My Negative Marriage Pattern

In case you thought a great marriage is always perfect…

You’re wrong!

In this episode I share a negative pattern that has plagued our marriage for YEARS…

And what I did to FINALLY start breaking free from it.

Hint: It has to do with me feeling like a MARTYR in my marriage.

Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast (Apple Podcast link here)

Watch on YouTube here

Summary:

-When I feel like a martyr in my marriage, my WIFE is probably struggling

-Instead of COMPLAINING, use my strengths

-Spiritual strength – Be the strong and loving husband I want to be

-Emotional strength – Seek to UNDERSTAND her and manage my OWN emotions

-Mental strength – Use STFAIR to look at my thoughts

-Sexual strength – Approach sex in a way I can be PROUD of

Mike

P.S. I’m offering a special discount to 30 men who are ready to join The Super Man System – Alpha Group. You will learn EXACTLY how to build up these strengths and skills to have the BEST marriage you have EVER had. Guaranteed. And at a $500 discount. See the details here.

How To Be More Sexually Attractive To Your Wife – Interview With Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

“Your wife can prop up your ego or your penis, but not both.”

Today I have a VERY special treat for you all!

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife!

If you’re not familiar with her work, she is a licensed therapist who specializes in relationships and sexuality.

She is one of the people I respect and admire very much and who has helped me understand why focusing on STRENGTH is SO IMPORTANT when it comes to sexual attraction.

Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast (Apple Podcast link here)

Watch on YouTube here

In this interview you will learn:

-How the female sexual response works… and why being a good CHOICE for her is so important

-Why you need to STOP being “pathetic” when it comes to sex… and what to do instead

-How to approach sex with your wife in a way that’s ATTRACTIVE… instead of just saying “do you want to have sex?”

-My own personal breakthrough at the end of the interview about the feeling of “taking” sex from my wife… and how I can approach it in a way I can be PROUD of… even though my wife has a history of serious sexual abuse

You can find Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s excellent courses and retreats here.

And, if you are looking for a system to become a STRONGER and MORE ATTRACTIVE version of yourself, check out my free workshop and introduction to The Super Man System here.

Mike

How To Get Your Wife (And Others) To Do More Of What You Want

Most people come to me because they’re not happy in their marriage.

They’re not getting enough of what they want from their wife.

BUT, they usually are NOT doing the MOST EFFECTIVE things to get their wife (or others) to do more of what they want.

Learn the BEST and MOST EFFECTIVE ways to influence others to do more of what you want in this episode.

Watch on YouTube here.

Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast (Apple Podcast link here)

Summary:

-COMPLAINING will NOT get you more of what you want

-Figure out EXACTLY what you want your wife to do

-Ask for that, giving a REASON why you want it

-If she says “no…”

-Try to understand WHY

-Feel the hard emotions that come up

-Decide what YOU will do if she says “no”

-Follow through on what you said you would do

Mike

P.S. If you are ready to really APPLY what you’re learning and CREATE the marriage that you’ve always wanted, watch my workshop to see more of my PROVEN methods and to see how we can work together more. CLICK HERE to watch.

5 Lessons Learned From 15 Years Of Marriage

We just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary at an amazing party with family and friends that are also family.

You’ll hear a few tips on how to throw a great party…

And  5 of the biggest lessons that I’ve learned through these 15 years.

Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast (Apple Podcast link here)

Watch on YouTube here

Summary:

  • 1 – Decide and then get spiritual confirmation
  • 2 – Have faith and let people help
  • 3 – Happy wife happy life is a lie
  • 4 – Intimacy requires bravery
  • 5 – You have to know the bitter to know the sweet

Mike

Faith In Marriage – How To Keep Going When The Going Gets Tough

Do you feel like you’re trying hard in your marriage…

But it’s making NO difference?

Is your wife INDIFFERENT about your changes…

Or even HOSTILE about them?

In this episode, we’ll discuss how you can use FAITH to continue to “do good to them that hate you.”

Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast (Apple Podcast link here)

Watch on YouTube here

Summary:

-Doing good is like planting a seed

-Continuing to do good is like watering that seed

-It can take YEARS to see that seed grow into a plant

-BUT, every day of watering counts.

-You are building up the roots. Becoming that better man.

-And good WILL return to you for it. Guaranteed.

-Keep watering. Have patience. Have faith.

Mike

How To Fight In Marriage… And Come Out Stronger For It

Do you have conflicts in marriage that leave you feeling STUCK?

Do you have the same arguments about sex, money, parenting, religion, in-laws or cleaning over and over?

Would you like to break FREE of that cycle?

You’ll learn how in this episode.

Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast (Apple Podcast link here)

Watch on YouTube here

Summary:

-Feeling DISTANT from your spouse activates your lower, “crocodile” brain

-Puts you into FIGHT or FLIGHT mode

-Common for one spouse to want to fight (talk about things) and one to want to “drop it” (flight)

-To get through this…

-CALM your crocodile brain

-Seek FIRST to understand, then to be understood

-Find the HIGHER way. Win win. Enthusiastic agreement

-Turn CONFLICT into more CONNECTION and INTIMACY

Mike

3 Levels Of Communication In Marriage

Are you struggling with communication in your marriage?

Do you feel like you just don’t understand your wife, or that she just doesn’t understand you?

In this episode, you’ll find out EXACTLY how to reach the DEEPEST levels of communication.

This type of communication brings the PASSION and INTIMACY back into your marriage…

Even if that spark has been missing for YEARS.

Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast (Apple Podcast link here):

Watch here:

Summary:

-There are 3 levels of communication in marriage…

-Level 1: Superficial communication (business items)

-Level 2: Emotional communication (sharing of feelings, hopes, dreams, fears, getting to know each other at a deep level)

-Most marriages stop here (or get stuck at superficial level)

-Level 3: Intimate communication

-This is COURAGEOUS communication that is TRUE to you, but that your wife probably WILL NOT LIKE

-This type of communication is what can make your marriage EXPLODE to new levels of intimacy and passion

Short Circuiting Pornography Use – The Problem And The Shockingly Simple 3 Step Solution

If you are using pornography more than you would like, there is a perfectly logical explanation.

And, if you would like to STOP or CUT BACK on your pornography use, there is a simple 3 step solution that you can follow.

If you are interested in working through a program to implement these skills and ELIMINATE pornography from your life, contact me.

Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast (Apple Podcast link here): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/strong-men-strong-marriages/id1513290707

Watch here: https://youtu.be/_ALjaYZOldQ

Summary:

-Your brain has learned to use pornography and masturbation as a way to deal with sexual urges and negative emotions

-You can CHOOSE how you want to use your sexuality. Your true FILTER.

-In the moment, ALLOW the urge

-Name, feel and deal with your emotion

-Use STFAIR and your FILTER

-Track your progress. Target 100 urges processed WITHOUT acting on them.

-Learn from each urge. What worked, what didn’t work, what will you do differently.

Mike

P.S. If you are interested in working through a program to overcome pornography, contact me at dr.mike@mikefraziermd.com

When You Feel Trapped In Your Marriage – How To Feel Free AND Stay Married

Sometimes it can seem like you have 2 options in your marriage:

Stay married and miserable or…

Get divorced and finally be free.

Luckily, there is a third option.

That is to feel FREE AND stay married.

There are 3 marriage traps that make us feel stuck.

You’ll learn what they are and how to break out of all 3 in this episode.

Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/5bp2UZYTwrI

Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/strong-men-strong-marriages/id1513290707

Summary:

-Trap 1 – Trying to control your wife’s feelings and thoughts

-How to escape: Know your own worth, choosing to be the husband you WANT to be

-Trap 2 – Service and compromise. Rejecting and denying your own desires and agency.

-How to escape: Make requests, set boundaries, own your decisions

-Trap 3 – Thinking marriage HAS to work 

-How to escape: Realize you DO have the option to leave, then DECIDE whether to stay or not. Also let your wife choose whether to stay or not and know you WILL be ok either way if you build the necessary strengths and skills to get strong, get attractive, and get the marriage of your dreams.

Mike

P.S. If you are looking for marriage counseling or coaching, alone or as a couple, I’d like to invite you to a 30 minute Marriage Assessment to see if we would be a good fit to work together. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage, where you want to be, and your best next steps to get there. Whether we work together after or not, my goal is to have this be the best 30 minutes you’ve spent on your marriage. CLICK HERE to schedule.

Am I A Sex Addict? How To Deal With Sexual Urges For Other Women

Am I A Sex Addict? How To Deal With Sexual Urges For Other Women

As men, we have sexual urges MANY times throughout the day.

For some of us, we have used pornography as a way to deal with negative emotion… which brings on more negative emotion… which makes us want to use pornography even more.

This cycle could accurately be called a sexual addiction.

Is there a way to break out of it?

And are there ways to use our sexuality for good?

The answer is: YES!

Find out how here: 

Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast

Summary:

-Your sexuality is an important part of you

-Ask yourself “how do I want to use my sexuality?”

-Use the answer to guide your sexual behaviors

-Sex addiction stems from an inability to tolerate negative emotion

-Learn to name, feel and deal with the emotions, instead of running from them

Mike

P.S. The Super Man System is open until TOMORROW at MIDNIGHT. If you want a structured system to build your physical, mental, emotional and sexual strength, sign up now! I GUARANTEE you will feel STRONGER and MORE ATTRACTIVE than you EVER have. Check it out here