Here we are going to follow a model that explains why you are getting the results you are getting in your marriage and life.
The model is simple, but extremely powerful.
It goes as follows:
Situation –> Thought –> Feeling –> Action –> Intention –> Result
This is going to be the core model that we follow throughout the system to change the results in your marriage and life.
Step 1 – Watch this video to understand how this model works
Whenever you ask a question in the program, either on the calls or in the anonymous area, make sure you’re using this model.
This will help us make the most of your questions.
So if your wife turned you down for sex, when you send in your question, it will look something like this:
Situation: My wife refused to have sex with me
Thought: My wife doesn’t care about me
Feeling: Sad, rejected
Action: Sulked away
Intention: Make my wife change her mind, make her upset, show her I’m mad
Result: More distance from my wife
Sometimes, just realizing your brain is running this pattern is enough for it to go away.
Other times, you’ll want to find a new thought to get a new result.
Use the rest of the worksheet to try to figure out a new thought and action.
You’ll find the worksheets in our Google Classroom. Class code: 2ili7k.
You can also download them here to use at any time:
Step 2 – Fill out a STFAIR model this week, then one each week until thinking this way becomes a habit
The STFAIR model is one of the biggest tools for changing the results in your life and marriage.
Fill out one this week, then one each week until you have a habit of thinking in this way.
After that, continue to fill out one each month while you are in the program.
Whenever you’re not getting the results you want in your marriage or life, use this model as a way to figure out why and what to do about it.
Step 3 – Review Mastering Your Emotions
The STFAIR model covers emotions, but it can be useful to understand how to manage your emotions better.
The key is to: notice them, then allow yourself to feel them, the deal with them in a useful way.
Notice, Feel, Deal.
You can review the material here.
Step 4 – Submit your STFAIR model on Google Classroom
Visit Google Classroom and go to your week 5 assignment under “Foundational Strength Training” in “Classwork” to submit your letter. Class code: 2ili7k.