Reminder: Make sure you’re still reviewing your personal mission statement every morning, visualizing your future, meditating, then reviewing how you did each night.
So far we have worked on our inner game.
We’ve become spiritually strong by remembering our inherent value and becoming men on a mission.
We’ve become mentally strong by learning to evaluate, observe and change our thoughts and visualize our new future.
We’ve become emotionally strong by learning to recognize our emotions and decided how we will react when they come in the future.
You’re already head of 99.9% of the men out there at this point!
Now, we’re going to work on our outer game: how we interact and communicate with others.
Part 1 – The #1 Communication Skill
We have to start with the #1 most important communication skill. Almost no one else uses this, so becoming an expert at this will put you ahead of almost all people out there in their marriage, parenting and work relationships.
Try to understand your wife’s point of view to her satisfaction on an issue. You might want to start with something that isn’t too hot a topic. You can use the “Getting to Know You” questions as a guide.
Listen with the intent to understand, not to respond or “fix.”
Then, ask her to understand you.
Then, find a “higher way” that is better than what either one of you could have thought of on your own.
If your wife does not want to participate, do this exercise with someone else that you disagree with about something important (religion, politics, etc.).
You’ll want to do this exercise with your children as well on any conflicts that you’re having.
Don’t get discouraged if you slip up. Just keep focusing on the outcome you want: to understand the person you’re talking to.
Let me know how it goes! Email me at email@example.com.
Part 2 – Showing Love the Right Way
What we’ve learned so far helps fill our wife’s need for security.
Now, we’re going to start talking about how to fill her second biggest need from her husband: romance.
What is romance? A feeling of excitement and mystery related to love.
Learn how to become a real life Romeo here.
Use this worksheet to determine your love language (and your wife’s).
Use these questions as a good way to get to know your wife better.
Let me know how your love language experiment goes! Dr.firstname.lastname@example.org